Suffering

Suffering is an undeniable truth of life. No matter how much you try and run away from it, it always catches up to you and returns the impact twofold. Since it's a fundamental element attached to your intrinsic being, you cannot extract it out of your life either.

This is the very reason people try to deny the fact that it's inescapable. They think that they can somehow avoid it just by denying it and forgetting it. Unfortunately, that isn't how it works. Because trying to forget about pain is in itself painful. So it's hardly productive at all.

Everyone suffers. Everyone feels pain. So in that sense, it isn't something that only you experience. It is ubiquitous. Now sure, the ways in which you suffer might be unique to you. But regardless, you suffer. Which is an important distinction.

But suffering also gives life meaning, without it, nothing matters. If you could get all that you want without ever having to suffer, would that mean anything? This also explains why people choose unachievable goals to aim at, because you would have to suffer indefinitely and overcome unsurmountable odds to actually succeed. How much you would have to suffer dictates how difficult something is going to be, part of what gives your goals meaning.

Since it has been made very clear that you can't avoid it. What can you do about it? Because from the looks of it, it’s pretty dismal and discouraging.

No need to worry about that because I have got a solution. Nothing special of course, in fact, it is quite prevalent in a lot of ancient wisdom. it is a two-part solution.

First, You need to accept that life is suffering. You need to understand that life isn't fair. It sounds simple but is actually quite hard. In order to accept this mere fact, you have to let go of all the resentment that you have been building up for years and people don't want to do that.

If they let go of their resentment, then they can't play the victim anymore. They lose their victim card and people really love being victims. It’s no surprise really, You get a short-term emotional high and also unearned moral privilege as leverage( or better described as a weapon) to be used against others. And if you lose your privilege, which was unearned to begin with, you can't lecture people anymore about how you deserve special treatment.

Now the good part is, by doing that, you stop being a victim and you start taking responsibility for your life. Your life automatically starts improving, you become a better person. Suddenly people don't really hate being around you and best part is, you stop hating yourself.

Again, taking maximum responsibility for your life sounds easy on paper but is actually quite hard. If you look back at your life, almost all of the moments where you actually felt useful and accomplished, you adopted responsibility and suffered for a cause. Use those moments as a reminder that it is actually worth it to suffer for a justified cause.

Which brings me to the second part.

You can't avoid suffering but you sure can choose what to suffer for. Being able to choose your suffering makes all the difference in the world. It sounds optimistic, and it is.

In life, there are two types of suffering. One that you choose and one that you do not, like the death of a loved one. You can't do a lot about the second one, virtually by definition.

That's why it’s more important to focus on the first one because it is something that you can actually change. Your current suffering also has a lot to do with choosing the wrong things to suffer for. Like choosing immediate pleasure which gratifies you and satiates your desires in the short term but makes you suffer meaninglessly in the long term, the story of every drug addict.

Now that isn’t to say that every bad thing that ever happened to you is self-inflicted. But it is your responsibility to get your life in order and to heal from your psychological wounds and to not get resentful. It isn’t an attempt to downplay anyone’s suffering, it’s rather an attempt to highlight the fact that people can be much more resilient than we give them credit for. People have, throughout history, overcome incalculable problems and dealt with the burden of existence individually and collectively as a species (the proof is in how far we’ve come). We belong to that species.

Find something meaningful and purposeful to suffer for and avoid suffering for things that you know are bad for you, only offer you pain and rob you of your future. You don't really have to self-destruct and you don't have to be miserable endlessly.

Sure, suffering for a purpose and a goal is painful but you don't get a benefit without a cost, life isn't that nice to just hand you anything you demand. Plus your biology and neurochemistry reward you for delaying gratification and pursuing goals that have meaning.

Wasting your potential is one of the saddest things you can do to yourself.

Don't suffer aimlessly. Be better.

P.S. - I wish I was a turtle, moving slowly through life ;)

By the way, isn’t Zoro awesome?