#1 Mistake People make in Relationships

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Too many people are often worried about how others would feel when they put their interests forward. They are afraid of the judgement they are going to receive when they say something that is novel, whether it is useful or obnoxious. This type of thinking paralyses them into inaction and makes them conform to how everyone else is. 

People who often complain about how nice they are to everyone and how their niceness isn’t generally reciprocated often get resentful and pathologize the problem and simply say that the world itself is awful, that other people themselves are bad. That all the problems of the world exist in the world outside. Saying something like -

-"If only people were as nice to me as I am to them"

It makes you bitter and resentful.

When you do this you automatically also imply that you are faultless. That is just simply not true. The real problem is that you have more emotional investment in others than you have in yourself. You have a problem asserting yourself onto someone but also at the same time complain that no one ever thinks about your interests.

But if you don’t ever put yourself in front of the world, how is the world supposed to know, how is it their fault?

Don’t forget that you are constantly teaching the world how to interact with you. If you don’t treat yourself with respect, how can you expect anyone else to treat you with respect?

Similarly, when you don’t say what you want to say, when you don’t assert yourself, you are saying that your interests are secondary in nature. That your mind is moldable, that it doesn't matter what you think because everyone else thinks the same and you are just one more in the herd.

You have a value system. There are people that you admire and people that you find irredeemable. When you are a friend to everyone, you are an enemy to yourself. That is because you're going against your value system. Being friends with people you find contemptible is the same as you shooting yourself in the foot. After all, you don't really agree with most of the things they think, you don't condone any of their actions.

Why would you want to ally yourself with someone that is obviously self destructive, that is obviously not going to amount to anything good. Friendship with such a person is only going to result in the destruction of your own potential as a human being.

In case this needs to be told, befriend people that have a value system similar to yours and let go of the people holding you back. 

Not abiding by this philosophy is only going to make your life much more problematic and difficult. It doesn't have to be that way.

A reminder that you do get to decide who you should be friends with and who you should avoid. 

Don't play a losing game. Be wiser.

"If you're nice to everyone all the time then you're not nice to yourself"

See Ya!